Postpartum Life

December 17, 2019

Hello my Beauties,

So, my son, Nolan, is already three months! Like how did this happen? Can I just slow time down for a bit!?

Like isn’t he literally PERFECTION! You Guys, I am in love! Like I know, that’s what every mom says, but I swear this is different!

Nolan is super chill and is already sleeping through the night! < Thank You, JESUS!

I have literally tried to post this for the past couple of months and it has been hard for me to articulate how I feel. Postpartum life is weird because you’re in love with the baby and think about how complete your life is, but at the same time, you feel like the loneliest person on the planet even though you’re surrounded by people. You feel alone, out of touch, and on a hamster wheel that never ends, yet this feeling never stays. Some days are great; some days are challenging. I try to fill my day with work( blogging), which I love and has fulfilled me in so many ways, lunch dates with friends, and even going on walks alone to get some fresh air. It’s been hard because it just so happens this is a transitional stage in my life, learning who my real friends are this year has been a lesson I didn’t want but needed to learn.

I don’t know if I felt like this with Jasmine because I was so panicked about every little detail that maybe I didn’t have time to focus on how I was feeling, at least not at first. However, this time, I feel so off. Maybe its a slump, maybe its this drop of hormones, I don’t know, but I’ve been an emotional wreck. I literally started crying while watching RHONJ! I feel like I’m going through the motions and unable to shake this “blah” feeling off. I’ve been journaling and doing my devotions, listening to podcasts, and going to start working out- maybe that will help. < here’s to hoping

Whew! That was a lot, the first real-time I’ve talked about my feelings with anyone besides my husband, but I figured you guys have been reading along for the past six years I should be honest and raw even though it makes me uncomfortable. To be honest, I would instead rather post another gift guide or whatever, being vulnerable is hard. However, it’s important to be vulnerable to heal and get better.

Not all things are so difficult- breastfeeding for insistence is so much easier than it was with Jasmine. Don’t get me wrong it’s still hard, a commitment and for those of us that don’t lose weight from it its a tad bit annoying but easier nonetheless.

I have not started dieting or working out yet- its been difficult to find that time in my new routine. I still haven’t been able to stomach red meat which is somewhat of a blessing. I’m pretty sure I was eating an excess amount of protein before I got pregnant. so maybe a little break from red meat will do my body good.

My hair looks so full in this picture but don’t be fooled -my hair is falling out in clumps! Post Partum hair loss is crazy! Luckily my hair is super thick and can spare a few clumps of hair ><

Anyways all that aside these past three months have been filled with events and get-togethers, and for that, I’m grateful. I cannot wait for Christmas and just to celebrate with family and friends.

Here are Nolan’s month milestones so far.